I am not feeling at all cranky–indeed, I feel especially cheerful this morning—- but I am going to write a post that sounds cranky anyway. It is about three things that bug me a small amount. Here they are:
1. When you ask someone a question and they begin their answer with “So”. For example, say I say “What’s up with ebola, anyway?” and someone starts their response with “So the thing about ebola is…”. It just sounds like they have had an answer about ebola ready to go and have been straining like a horse at a gate to give it and show me that they know a lot about things I do not know a lot about. There are a lot of things I do not know a lot about and I don’t mind that, but it feels like “So” people a little bit want me to feel bad about not knowing things.
2. When people say they want to “pick (my) brain.” I always picture a lobster pick and Wilder Penfield going carefully to town in my own personal, deskulled noggin and I do not like this image, feeling or expression one bit.
3. Cortisone shots that make you think that they are going to work and then don’t. Dr. CallsMeOld gave me one in the shoulder last week (though, to be fair, it was the first time he didn’t call me old during an appointment) and there was hope all around but today my shoulder hurts like billy-o again and I am afraid I will be put on prednisone. I have noticed a high level of real crankiness in people who are on prednisone and I do not have the time or inclination (despite this post) to be truly cranky. I prefer to have only three small things that bother me.
I think these are the only things that truly get on my nerves but I’m sure I will think of a thousand other linguistic expressions and tics that make my back creep up as soon as I hit “publish”, so I reserve the right to edit and add to this list later. Feel free to share your minor irritations in the comments below. I say minor because there are so many major ones in this country right now we’d be here all day and get more than cranky if we started in on those and I like to keep the sky over this blog a fairly cloudless blue. But trust me, I KNOW AND COME ON.